Strength of Character

"Strength of character grows on a rocky terrain." ~ Shelley Williams
 

They say 'When the going gets tough, the tough get going' but we never fully understand the scope of the saying until we find ourselves on a rocky path from which there is no escape. Time is supposed to heal all wounds, but what "they" really mean by that is that in time you develop the "Strength of Character" that helps you make it through that rocky path. It is known as the sum of all the attributes, such as integrity, courage, fortitude, honesty, and loyalty, in a person. Character is quite possibly the most important essence a person can possess, as it defines who a person is.

"To strengthen one's character is to mold oneself into a productive person within one's sphere of influence."

In the summer of 2005 at the age of 42 I found myself on a rocky path as a result of a deadly automobile accident. I was waiting at a stop light to turn green, less than a mile from my home, when a drunk driver struck me from behind, crushing my vehicle around me and leaving me with multiple fractures and a serious concussion.  The investigating officer said the driver was  passed out going approximately 70 mph when he rear ended me and he had a blood alcohol level of .214, unable to speak or walk without help. He was uninjured with the exception of a few cuts and scrapes from his air bag. He was driving a van which was not insured and he was not a licensed driver, nor was he a legal resident of the US. After a week of hospitalization, I was sent home to heal from the physical and emotional trauma caused by this mishap. I was told I would need a shoulder and nose reconstruction at some point to correct some of the damage caused. 

After the accident

One of the 3 young women who came to my aid immediately following the accident was a nurse at the nearby hospital where I was transported to after the firemen and paramedics cut me out of my vehicle. She said she had tried to open the driver side door to assist me but was unable to get the door to open more than just a few inches due to the extensive damage to my vehicle. The seat belt broken from the impact of thrusting me forward into the steering wheel and I had been thrown across the center console, fracturing multiple ribs and other bones in my upper body. She said I was not breathing when she first saw me,  and said all she could reach was the end of my pants leg because my legs were pinned under the driver seat. She shook my pant legs frantically, hoping the motion would somehow cause me to breathe and wake up. That simple act is was saved my life, she didn't not hesitate or assume it was hopeless and leave me for dead and wait for the 911 call response, she simply did her best and God did the rest.

So I was faced with what seemed insurmountable odds to recover without any assistance at home, as I lived alone far away from my immediate family and closest friends, and expected to have the hope and determination needed to overcome this "rocky path" that had been set for me by the negligence of another human being, who in the long run was not humane in his choice to drive while so intoxicated. I could have given into the despair, that soon followed, and indulged in the choice to self medicate in effort to avoid the tremendous pain I was experiencing. Yet, I chose to fight and rehabilitate myself back to the best psychical health I could with the knowledge and tools I had developed in my life thus far. I experienced PTSD for some time after, and still to this day tend to slow down in intersections and watch my rear view mirror closely on the off chance that someone else might be driving recklessly and strike me again. But I grew my own "Gamman" forging my way through the "rocky terrain" and came out the other side stronger for it. I even developed what a friend of mine called "Ghetto Tai Chi Ch'uan" to help me regain my strength and balance. 

In explanation, "Ghetto Tai Chi Ch'uan" is a combination of Modern and Jazz dance moves combined with Yoga positions and Tai Chi form utilizing the elements of Ch'uan (pronounced quan), which is the concept of resistance training, muscle tension and release. "Gamman" is a Japanese cultural trait and is considered untranslatable, but according to the Urban Dictionary, it is "the capacity to suppress outwards signs or expressions of suffering or pain, either emotional or physical as an act of inner strength or to appear to possess of character." 

To be clear, "Strength of Character" can be used in positive ways as well as misused in destructive ways. The Character Strengths and Virtues Handbook (CSV) by Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman breaks it down into 24 character traits which are categorized into 6 virtues. The leaders of the positive psychology movement are suggesting that virtue has a biological basis, so I think it is safe to say that your strength of character may actually be an inherited trait, passed down genetically by our biological predecessors who developed these traits and behaviors through life and learned to incorporate into their physical being. For instance, when it comes to breeding of domesticated animals, especially pure bred dogs or horses, one of the things a serious buyer looks for is the blood line and what the parents of the animal were like. Were they obedient? Easy to train? Did they have any bad temperament issues? Were they bred for racing or fighting? All of these factors play a huge part in whether an owner will purchase the animal and what they intend to use the animal for.

We all know of the negative publicity on the American Staffordshire Bull Terrier, (More commonly called a 'Pit Bull') thanks to the conviction of Michael Vick back in 2007. But how many of you followed up with where some of those dogs ended up and how their behaviors changed when put into a loving and supportive environment? I have personally been the owner of 3 separate Staffy's, 2 of them pure bred and one mixed with yellow lab. The first one I owned was 8 months old when I rescued her from a violent drug environment. She had some bad habits and nervous issues that took time to train out of her, the most difficult one being that she liked to charge at a stranger in an intimidating fashion that would scare them from coming anywhere near us. The second one I owned was purchased as a puppy from a breeder where I was able to meet both of the parents and see how they behaved. They had records of immunizations, ribbon winners in his blood line, and and temperament issues that may arise. He was loving, playful, and easy to train. He enjoyed learning new tricks and developed a respect for the Maine Coon cats I bred at the time. He was by far, the best pet I have ever owned and I think of him often. The third one was the the mixed breed and he was approximately 6 months old when his owner had to find a new home for him. I had provided foster care for him on a couple of occasions so when the owner was unable to provide a stable environment for him, she asked me to take him for her. He also had a sweet temperament and was very playful, however, you could tell that a fighting bull had been in his blood line not too far back and he showed a dominant disposition when around other dogs.

When it comes to domesticating a wild animal, it is suggested that it takes 3 generations of breeding and training before a true domestic pet can be born in a litter. So taking that one step further, is it possible that it could be that same 3 generations of human procreation to change the instinctive behaviors of a person? And with so many babies being born to alcohol and/or drug addicted parents, what is the long term affect it will have on them and their offspring in the future? What about all the chemicals being used in foods produced by pre-packaged food manufactures and all of the prescription drugs being used by mothers during pregnancy?

The 6 Virtues mentioned in the CSV are Wisdom and Knowledge, Courage, Humanity, Justice, Temperance, and Transcendence. These virtues are considered to be good by the vast majority of cultures and throughout history and they are traits which can lead to increased happiness when practiced. So in closing I will give you the basic components graph of these 6 virtues so that you may further research and study them in hopes they might help my readers to develop the "Strength of Character" you desire to improve your own circumstances of life and experience a greater satisfaction in your relationships with others.

REFERENCE SITES:

Amazon.com
NAMI - National alliance on Mental Health

Quote Your Soul © 2012